Seniors: Lead, Finish!

Note: This is the talk to the senior class of St. Michael on October 21, 2019

This humorous video actually says a lot about leadership. When the first guy starts dancing, he looks like a nut job, subject to ridicule. No doubt being the first to do something is important, but I believe the most important person in the video is the second guy to join in.  He’s the one who assures everyone watching that the first guy isn’t an idiot to be laughed at, but instead, to be imitated. He’s the guy that now sends a “trend, ” and through his example, makes it easier for the rest to join in. Pretty soon, everyone’s dancing. 

No doubt, seniors, you grew tired of hearing all throughout your careers at St. Michael that last year’s seniors were “first.” Yes, they were. And yes, you are correct to respond that YOU are the first “four year” class to graduate from St. Michael, the first to enroll as freshman and graduate as seniors. On May 14, 2020, your graduation night, I will emphasize this point.  You will always have an important place in the history of this school! 

But this morning, I want you to consider this proposition: Your senior year will have enormous impact on the history of this school and what we’ll become, precisely because you’re the second class. 

Like the 2nd guy in the video, you will determine if the first class is an outlier, the dancing idiot in the park, or whether St. Michael truly becomes what it wants to be. The underclassmen are watching you, waiting—to see if they’ll join in, too, or just make fun of the first guy. 

A mentor of mine once said that it takes about 3 minutes of walking into a new high school to evaluate it, because the fundamental question is simple: Is it an “adult” culture, or a “adolescent” culture? Are there standards of conduct around the building—language, dress, relationships, respectful interactions between students with students, students with teachers, litter—that reflect a decorum that is indicative of adult behavior, or do the standards suggest the opposite? 

The answer to that question usually depends on the senior class and what it will or won't allow of the underclassmen. Here’s a fact I don't like to point out too often:  You have us out-numbered! Counting all the adults who work here, faculty and staff, there are 38 of us and 321 of you! That means it’s impossible for the adults alone to “set” a culture here. It depends on you, the seniors, mostly through your example.  

Underclassmen are often “monkey see, monkey do.” If you are doing it, it’s OK. If you cheat, by your example, you tell the underclassmen it’s OK to cheat. If you routinely violate the school’s cell phone policy, then underclassmen will follow. If you skirt the dress code, or speak poorly of your teachers or classmates, or curse, or leave trash around the cafeteria or courtyard, so too will they. They’re watching you closely, even though they’d wouldn't admit to doing so.  You create the culture here. You really do! 

So first off, I want to thank you for your leadership that you’re ALREADY shown here this year. I’ve been impressed with you. You guys really HAVE picked up the mantel and become an example for underclassmen. But this morning, as we begin the second quarter, I want to encourage you to continue doing that, and to ask you to avoid FOUR trends that I often see develop in seniors as they move through the year. 

• The first is a kind of selfishness--it's all about me.  You may see this from time to time in your classmates, and you’ll see it often in college next year. It’s easy for school to become “all about me”: my grades, my test scores, my applications, my friends, my classes. We put on narrow blinders and can't take in the panoramic view to includes others, or recognize classmates having a bad day, or notice the underclassman who needs a comforting word. Do you know how powerful you are? Do you know what effect you can have on younger students, simply noticing they are sad or unhappy, and asking them if they’re  is OK? They will likely remember that kindness the rest of their lives!  Reach beyond yourself.  That’s how we become joyful and happy—by giving. Don’t fall into the temptation to become selfish in your senior year. 

• Gnosticism”—OK, let me revert back to my theological training to explain. Gnosticism is one of the most persistent heresies in the Christian Church, dating back to the first century. You can detect its influence through out history in a lot of the behavior of politicians, kings, and other people in power, and yes, in seniors in high school!  Gnostics believe it is the KNOWLEDGE of the truth that is most important—that knowledge, not our deeds, “save” us. So rules of behavior, a moral code—that’s for the ignorant masses (the uneducated, the peasants, the underclassmen)—not for we who are enlightened. In seniors, there’s a strong temptation to start believing that school rules really only apply to underclassmen, that "yes, we understand that the school has to have rules, but hey, we no longer need to follow them."   Resist that temptation please. I will find ways to acknowledge your status as seniors here, but I ask that you respect the rules set in place regardless. If you give in to gnosticism, you will instantly cease to become the leaders the school needs you to be.

• Defeatism and Apathy—“We can’t make a difference, and furthermore, who cares? I’m out of here in a few months anyway. “  Wow, this is always sad for me as principal when I see students with this attitude. We humans have a tendency to rush ahead to the next thing, always believing the grass is greener, but then regret we didn’t enjoy what we once had. I see this in parents, sometimes, who focus on work, then regret they didn’t spend more time with their children once they leave for college. ENJOY these last months of high school! Stay active! Make a difference, so that when you DO look back on the high school years, you’ll do so without regret, knowing that you threw yourself into it, made good friends, and did good things there. Don’t “check out early.” College comes quickly enough, with new pressures, new stresses, changing friendships.

• “Senioritis”—Though we often joke about it, “senior-itis, ” is a real thing. You’ll feel its tug more and more powerfully as the senior year progresses, especially after you get accepted into the college you want. But it is a shame to run a really strong race, even leading around the final turn, and then limp to the finish line and watch everyone pass by you! Finish strong. Remember you must send your final grades to your college in June. Though it’s rare, I have seen colleges withdraw their scholarship offers based on 2nd semester grades. But even beyond that, I think you want to look back on high school and be proud of what you’ve accomplished. It’s mind over matter—you can will yourself to do what you don’t feel like doing. Work hard. Finish strong. 

I want you to have a fun senior year! Yes, there’s work to do, Many of you are taking more A.P. classes than ever, but you’re handling it well, because you’ve matured, and because you know how to study, and use your time well. Senior year is special. Make sure you include each other in your activities. Look for ways to pull those on the outside into the inside, to be able to say, "He or she is a little different, but he/she is one of us. Don’t exclude each other in your graduation parties, for example. Say  "We're seniors, and this is our class and our school! " Celebrate your standing as our first four year class, but also embrace the idea that as the #2 class, you set the trend!  It'll be up to you guys if the rest of the school follows. 

God bless. 

Burmese Pythons, Drugs and “Invasive Species”

Note: This was my talk with students on Monday, September 16, 2019

This months’s Smithsonian magazine has an article on burmese pythons. They are one of the four largest snakes in the world; females grow to an average of 14-16 feet long. They're also excellent predators, eating small mammals, such as raccoons and opossums, but also birds and other reptiles. They’re excellent swimmers, and like an alligator, can stay just below water level with its nostrils flaring up to breathe, waiting stealthily for its prey to come swimming by. But they can also camouflage themselves on dry land, in bushes, or slither into rabbit holes, or raid fox dens and other breeding holes. 

They’ve become a serious problem in the Everglades, mostly because they are not native to the area. Their natural habitat is southeast Asia, but biologists believe because of the exotic pet trade, which is illegal but rampant in Florida, many pythons have been released into the wild. In fact there was a python breeding facility and zoo in south Florida which was wiped out by Hurricane Andrew in 1992, with all of its pythons escaping.  They breed prolifically—mothers give birth to 60-100 offspring at a time, and now the python has been labeled an official “invasive species” to the Everglades.  

When predator and prey evolve in the same ecosystem together, the predator's  skill as a hunter develop along side the prey’s ability to detect danger and evade. But if someone artificially inserts a non-native predator into that environment, the prey hasn’t evolved the natural instincts to be wary of that predator, and it becomes easy pickings for the predator. 

So it’s become a real problem for the ecosystem in the Everglades. The small mammal population is decreasing at an alarming rate, so much so that teams of scientists are now dedicated to removing as many pythons as possible. They don’t believe it’s possible to wipe them out completely; instead, they're trying to contain the population by targeting females and killing them before they give birth.. But these snakes are really hard to find! Just as they are excellent predators, they are also excellent at evading detection by humans. So they go about finding the females in an interesting way: If they find a male python, rather than kill it, they geo-tag it, so they can trace their whereabouts. Because males are solitary hunters, the scientists know that if two or more males are in the same location, a female is likely nearby. They then hunt her down.  

I’ve been thinking about this idea of “invasive species”—non-native animals that come in and disrupt or take over an environment. You could use that as a good way of talking about sin—that God created a habitat for us which was fundamentally good, but because of sin, an invasive species, our habitat was corrupted to the detriment of us all. 

You could also use this metaphor to talk about high school, with the influence of drugs on student life. Drugs are an "invasive species" that destroy school culture from the inside, one student at a time. I’ve known kids, good kids, who began using drugs—and then through their contacts with other drug users, began to sell drugs to support their habit. I have a particularly sad memory of a young man from 15 or so years ago who was very active in his Church—sincerely so, I believe.  He was charismatic and likable, with many friends, but he began smoking pot as a sophomore, then began to pull away from his school friends, then got bored with pot and started using harder stuff as a junior, and by his senior year was selling drugs to support a full scale addiction. His whole life fell apart when he let this “invasive species” take over his life. 

You know we drug test here. We chose five students, randomly, every Wednesday. It’s a “hair test,” which is a little less intrusive than a urine test, and it detects usage up to about one month. The purpose of our drug test is not to “catch you.” Instead, it’s to help you say “no” if you’re in a place where people offer you drugs and you might feel peer pressure to participate. You can say “I go to a school that drug tests. I can’t risk it. “ They will respect that. 

Also, we don’t kick you out if you test positive the first time. We want to work with you and your parents. But if you’re dealing, you’re gone, instantly. The only real question is whether you’re also arrested, and that will depend on the circumstances. Our first obligation is the health and safety of our students. Like a burmese python in the everglades, we cannot allow this invasive species of drugs to destroy the culture of the school and make it unsafe. 

Look, you can have enormous influence on this issue—more effective than a random drug test. If you see friends or classmates going in the wrong direction, have the strength and courage to tell them so. And if it continues, or if you’re worried about someone, let some trusted adult know about it. Let that be the adult’s burden, not yours. But don’t watch a friend or classmate crumble before your eyes and do nothing. 

I pray for you guys. There’s a lot of pressure on you—grades, friendships, reputation. I pray that God gives you grace, and courage to live holy lives. But God wants you to pray also. Use our chapel to ask God to give you strength. Ask him to show you the path for you life. You don’t bear your burdens alone. 

Let’s all be wary of invasive species in our personal lives, and in the “ecosystem” of our school. 

Beginning our Fourth Year Together

Note: This is my opening year talk with parents on our "Back to School Night" on August 28, 2019

“Scholars, leaders, disciples of Jesus Christ. “

This is what we want our students to become--straight from our mission statement.   It is deliberately aspirational, something we all aim for. We’ll all fall short of it—we as teachers, you as parents, our students. Failure is part of growing up—so don’t get too upset if from time to time your kid does poorly on an assignment, or forgets something, or if a coach benches him for a time. It’s part of their maturation.  Our mission gives us a clear direction, and a clear measuring stick for our success. 

Parents are the primary educators—the role of the school is to support you in that role, "to extend the franchise of families,” I once heard it described. One of the natural sources of friction between teenagers and parents is they are trying to find their own voice, and to do so, they must step outside of the large shadow you cast, to distinguish your voice from theirs. But when they step outside of that shadow, they step into ours—and if the school and family are together, your values, your “voice” is being echoed by us, in the culture we create, in the values we are trying to instill them. There are a lot of other voices, clamoring for their attention! So it’s critical that our relationship is one of partnership.  Neither of us work “for” the other. We work “with” each other. 

In fact, in Catholic educational philosophy, the most important relationship in a school is NOT the teacher and student, but the teacher and parent. Our unity of purpose is a precondition for our right relationships with the kids. 

I think there are two take-aways from that: 

Let’s avoid 3rd person pronouns when speaking about each other. Not “they” or “them” but "us!" I say that not only to you as parents, but to our teachers. Let’s get to know each other by our first names, if possible.  Tonight is a good first step toward that as we meet each other. We—all of us!—are the Cardinals! 

Second, when our children come home and tell us horror stories about this or that teacher, or if they tell US horror stories about you, let’s give each other the benefit of the doubt. My former principal used to say, “We agree to believe only half of what teenagers tell us about you as parents, if you agree to only believe half of what they tell you about us.” The point is, there’s a difference between the lens through which a teen sees the world, and an adult. We who have a wider-angle lens are better able to contextualize. So if something comes up,  let’s agree to talk with each other, rather than harbor grudges or misperceptions. 

As we begin the year together, I have three additional requests of you:

1) Please act as our ambassadors—parents choose schools for their children by word of mouth. Speak well of us to your co—workers, your friends, your extended family. We want good kids here. We THINK that we’re going to have a wait list next year—we graduate a relatively small class of 58 seniors and expect a freshman class of 85 or so, which puts us at capacity. So urge them to apply early, in the October-November time frame. 

2) I ask that if you’re able, to be generous to the school. One of the things I am most proud of about our first three years—is that NO FAMILY has been turned away because of inability to afford our full tuition. Every family pays something, but because of your generosity to the Annual Fund, because of the support of the Guardian Angel fund, we’ve been able to supplement their tuition to bridge the difference. That depends on your continued generosity—please support Jenny Kopf, our Advancement and Admissions Director, and our Annual Fund initiatives this year. 

3) And for my last request, let me share a quick story:  The year before the school opened, I spent a lot of time in the three elementary schools, drumming up support for this new thing called St. Michael. I distinctly remember a conversation I had with a group of wonderful 8th grade girls from St. Patrick, and I asked them if they were excited to be coming to here as part of the inaugural freshman class. Of course they were, but they also said, endearingly, that they would miss St. Patrick. 

Those 8th graders are now seniors at St. Michael—they and their classmates will be the first 4-year graduates of the school on May 14, 2020-- the class of 2020! One of them, Hannah Gay, came to the office a few days before school started, and I mentioned to her that it seemed like just yesterday I was talking to her and her friends at St. Patrick—and here they are, seniors. She choked up with emotion and tears, and I teased her a little bit about it—but truth be told, I got choked up too. These last three years have been amazing. 

But they go by fast! Blink,  and your freshman will be a senior! A number of senior moms said to me at Cardinal Day a few weeks ago --that they remembered me saying that in this meeting, three years ago, and they said they were "feeling it."  These are special years. So this is my last request: Get involved. Join things, like our wonderful PTO or Booster Club. Help out with advancement initiatives. Assist as team parents for ball clubs. No parents have ever said, EVER!--as they prepare to say goodbye to their kids for college, "I wish I would have spent LESS time with my child, or LESS time involved in the life of his or her school!"

We’ll be a stronger school with your involvement, you’ll be a stronger family, and you won’t have any regrets at the end of this very short ride. 

Enjoy the evening! You're dismissed to go meet your child's teachers--don't linger!