The Abortion Issue: Better Listening to Each Other

We don’t debate important social issues very well in our country. The abortion “debate” has been more like two deaf people shouting at each other for fifty years.

Productive discussions begin with better listening. 

Yes, pregnancy affects women in deep and profound ways—in ways that we men can never fully understand. I watched my wife through the pregnancies of our four children, saw the physical changes she went through—but more than that, the emotional and psychological impact they had on her. One day, she’d have morning sickness, feeling nauseous much of the day. But on another day, she was radiant with joy, bonding with the life within her, at peace. 

Abortion is indeed an important social issue, but let us never forget that pregnancy is first an issue that impacts women and their bodies, as the pro-abortion side likes to remind us.  Respect for women, respect for their privacy, respect for the idea that women are in all sorts of different situations at the time they become pregnant—some in loving relationships, some in abusive relationships, some in no relationships at all, left to bear the burden of their pregnancy alone— respecting these realities are a precondition for any sober, serious debate of the issue, and certainly preconditions for any truly Christian debate on abortion. Women have inherent dignity, and that dignity must be honored. 

On the other hand, those inclined to support abortion must also listen. The issue is not exclusively one of a woman’s privacy. That which is growing within a mother’s womb  is not an appendix, a lung, or some other appendage of the woman, but a distinct human life, with a DNA distinct from its mother, with its own heart beat, it’s own blood type, its own wonderfully mysterious combination of its mother and father. No just society, no civilization founded on the belief that we possess “unalienable rights,  among them life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness,” can credibly give anyone else the right to terminate that life, including the mother, any more than a society can confer on parents the right to abuse their own children after birth. Both the mother AND the child have inherent dignity, and we cannot advance the cause of one at the expense of the other. 

In the end, of course, I am against abortion—it does violence to children. In saying so,  I know that a significant number of my fellow citizens will disagree with me.  So is that where our discussion ends? 

I don’t think so. Perhaps we will always disagree about the legality of abortion, but cannot we agree on building a culture where the idea of abortion is (almost) unthinkable? 

Can we insist upon a culture, for example, that truly recognizes the equal dignity of women? That prioritizes equal pay for equal work? That insists upon appropriate maternity leave and family friendly employment policies, so that women who become pregnant are not tempted to consider abortion a necessary choice? Can we not prosecute deadbeat fathers who renege on their responsibilities to help raise their children? Can we not reject a porn industry that profits from objectifying women purely to serve men’s pleasure? Can we not muster enough outrage over international sex trafficking, and punish countries through our trade practices  that tacitly tolerate it? Regardless of one’s position on abortion, can we not say, loudly, ENOUGH! 

And where women find themselves in crisis pregnancies, can we not pour out resources on her and her child, making sure she receives proper pre-natal care, that she is able to complete her education, that she is supported after her child’s birth, both financially and socially, surrounded by loving communities, rather having to endure the scorn and judgment of others, isolated?

And cannot both sides acknowledge the wonder and beauty of children, and especially babies? There is a reason, after all, that when a mother brings her baby into a room full of people, that everyone in that room stops what they’re doing, and goo-goos and gaga’s with that baby! Children make us smile, and remind us that God still has hope for the human race! Can not we regard children as they truly are—a magnificent gift from God?  Can we stop with our insulting comments to parents with many children (Hey, you know how that happens, right? huh huh)? Can we stop joking with expectant parents that their lives are now “over”? 

Whatever side of the aisle, anti-abortion or pro-abortion, we can work together on these kinds of social reforms. If we do, we can build a culture in our states where abortion seems less and less necessary.  

Is it polly-annish idealism to suggest as much? Well, certainly, there is a lot of insincerity on this issue, particularly those who profit from it, or political operatives who use this issue to manipulate votes. I don’t hold out much hope for reconciliation with them! 

But among the rest of us—those who have sincerely held beliefs about women, about children, about a more just society—I believe these are worthwhile goals to work toward. 

Why POP?

Dear prospective parent of POP, 

“Ask me why!” the badge said on the girl at the grocery store checkout line. Intrigued, I asked her, and she gave me a cheerful, well-rehearsed answer.

Choosing a school for our children is much more important than where we shop!

Even so, it’s exactly the right question in trying to decide on the place our kids will best flourish.  So here's my take on the question, “Why Prince of Peace?” 

It’s not because our program is versatile, or that our students’ national test scores are high, or that our teachers are kind and caring. These are true, but they’re not enough. Rather, it’s the culture we’re trying to build here, and the hope we have for each child in our care. 

C.S. Lewis, in his book, Mere Christianity, catches the sense of it when he writes: 

“Imagine yourself as a living house. God comes in to rebuild that house. At first, perhaps, you can understand what He is doing. He is getting the drains right and stopping the leaks in the roof and so on; you ​knew that those jobs needed doing and so you are not surprised. But presently He starts knocking the house about in a way that hurts abominably and does not seem to make any sense. What on earth is He up to? The explanation is that He is building quite a different house from the one you thought of - throwing out a new wing here, putting on an extra floor there, running up towers, making courtyards. You thought you were being made into a decent little cottage: but He is building a palace. He intends to come and live in it Himself.”

Our task at POP is to cooperate with God’s grace in the life of children to help them become “palaces”—we might even say “cathedrals” where the Lord lives and through which his light shines! Each day at POP,  our students are reminded that God loves them and desires their happiness! No, growing up isn’t always easy, and as C.S. Lewis reminds us, there will be some hurt and disappointment along the way. But nurtured by a joyful culture of faith, optimism and just the right amount of challenge, we believe that children here grow in confidence, wisdom and grace. 

Though we'll never be perfect, we consider this task worthy of our best efforts and our most noble hopes. We invite you to join us in building such a school for your child and other children. We're in this together! 

Faustin Weber

President

Prince of Peace Catholic School

Plano, TX.

Reflections on 9/11, Twenty-one Years Later

These were my remarks to students during assembly on 9/11/2022: 

You may have noticed our flags are at half mast today. Twenty one years ago today, we were horrified to watch planes fly into the World Trade Center and into the Pentagon, and a fourth plane crash in Pennsylvania. Nearly 3,000 were killed, the deadliest terrorist attack on American soil in our history. We remember all those who died that day. We also continued to pray for the family members who still feel their loss today. 

I was just 1 when our president, John F. Kennedy was assassinated,  22 when the space shuttle Columbia blew up, and 39 on 9/11/2021 when we were attacked. For people who lived through it—and I think your teachers will agree with me—it’s the worst public event we’ve witnessed in our lifetimes.

There have been a lot of articles written about the lasting impact on 9/11 and the toll it’s taken on the United States, even beyond those killed that day. Among other things, we’ve fought two wars, in Afghanistan and Iraq, with many lives lost and billions of dollars spent. 

But I would argue the longest lasting impact is we’ve lost a lot of trust in each other. You can see that in airport security check points. You can see that in the millions of security cams we’ve put everywhere. Schools are required to have them—we have 35 of them.  In homes: “Ring” Doorbells for front doors, hidden cams in our homes. Cities have web cams everywhere. Cars have them on their dashboards. You can scarcely do anything without being recorded. 

And because of this felt loss of privacy, Americans have tried to counter by protecting their privacy, turning “inward.”  Just look at our neighborhoods. If you were flying over the typical middle class neighborhood today, and comparing to 21 years ago, you’d notice two striking differences: privacy fences, and the proportion of house size (huge) to lawn size (small). We don’t go outside as much, and we’ve separated ourselves from our neighbors.

Our smart phones have contributed to this. One of the great ironies of our time is despite the fact these phones give us almost unlimited potential to connect with each other, in fact they more often than not separate us. We look down, and not out. When I walk in the morning, I often pass 7 teenagers waiting for the bus, standing next to each other. What are they typically doing? All on the phone! Of course!  But it isn’t just teenagers. It’s adults, too. I was at a restaurant recently, and there was a family two tables over—a grandmother, a mom and dad, and 2 teens—and they were ALL on their phones, even grandmother!

People ask me, from time to time, why we have a “no cell phone during school hours” policy. It’s precisely for this reason. We want you to look up! We want you to notice each other, to talk with each other, to turn outward, not inward. The joy is in the interactions. The joy is in the friendships. That’s why I was so happy last week with our club fair, when so many of you were signing up for clubs to join this year. Dive in to these clubs, and you’ll build real friendships here. I know it’s awkward, and little bit scary to join something new, but it’s a risk worth taking. 

Let us continue to pray for the families of the victims of 9/11. But let us also pray for ourselves, that we will look up, that we will trust ourselves to each other, and that we will forge lasting friendships that will bring joy to our lives.