Throwing Down the Gauntlet

This is Mr. Weber's opening school address to students on August 6, 2012.

Welcome students! 

There’s a famous motivational story about two salesmen from competing shoe companies who are sent to a foreign company to assess the market for shoes.

The first salesman scouts around for a few days and then goes to the telegraph office to contact company headquarters.  He writes: Research complete. A disaster.  Natives here don’t wear shoes.

The second salesman does his research and heads for the same telegraph office.  Once there, he composes the following: Research complete.  Glorious marketing opportunity!  Natives here don’t yet wear shoes!

The message of the story is pretty clear: opportunity is there if you recognize it.

Students, as we begin this new year together, opportunity is here at JPII if you recognize it and take advantage of it.

Seniors, just one more year, and it will be one of the quickest of your life—it will seem like a blur before you are receiving your diploma at the Grand Ole’ Opry, dressed in cap and gown. Juniors, you’re now upperclassmen and are entering into upper level electives in what students tell me is our most challenging year. Sophomores, it was just a year ago that you sat in this auditorium for the first time, nervous about beginning here, unsure of yourselves, but it’s different now—and one of the big things that will happen is that most of you will be getting your license, no longer tethered to your parents, able to get around yourselves—a significant breaking away. Freshman, I know you’re nervous, unsure, everything is for the first time, new, uncertain.

No matter which year you’re in, though, you have an opportunity this year—an opportunity to make yourself a better friend, a better student, a better Christian, a better person. You can do that first, I think, by recognizing the extraordinary opportunity you have at JPII.  It’s easy to be the critic, and God knows, our world is full of them! They sit on the metaphorical sidelines of life criticizing everyone who has the courage to play in the game.  They nitpick and complain, always pointing out the deficiencies in others. Don’t be the critic in the bleachers—be the player on the field. Get “in the game.”  JPII is an extraordinary school, with amazing teachers and amazing students. Soak up everything this school has, whether you’re in your last year as a senior or first year as a freshman. Be grateful for what God has given you here, and show that gratitude by pushing yourself and challenging yourself to be all that he hopes you will become.

We are the Knights. There’s a lot of rich symbolism that goes with the idea of knights, and many colloquial expressions that date back to the middle ages concerning the knights. No doubt you’ve heard the expression:  “He was a Knight in Shining Armor,” referring to a person who acts chivalrously, coming to aid of another, usually a damsel in distress, in a gallant and courteous manner. 

An expression which is particularly interesting is “throwing down the gauntlet.”  A gauntlet was considered an important piece of the armory of knights, which covered their hands and forearms in a kind of glove like fit, protecting a very vulnerable area if they were engaged in hand to hand combat or sword fights.  By tradition, when a knight challenged other knight to a fight, he would take off one of the gauntlets and throw it at his competitor’s feet.  If the second Knight bent over and picked it up, it symbolized that he was accepting the challenge—thus “throwing down the gauntlet” meant you were being challenged to a fight and picking it up meant you were “all in.”

Here’s the thing. When we were younger, our parents carried us. When we first learned to walk, they were there to catch us when we wobbled. When we first learned to ride a bike, they ran behind us to keep us from crashing. But as we have become older, we have learned how to walk and ride bikes on our own. This is how it should be. As scripture says, “When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned as a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways ways behind me. (1 Corinthians 13:11).

This place will challenge you. This place will at times, frustrate you. In a very real way, it may feel like your teachers are throwing down the gauntlet at your feet, challenging you to a fight. Your parents, as much as they might want to, can’t be the ones that pick up the gauntlet for you. 

Recognize the opportunity this place provides for you. Pick up the gauntlet—accept the challenge. Fight the fight. Don’t be the one that watches from the sidelines.  

May God bless you and give you an incredible year.

A few tips for new high school parents

This is a summary of Mr. Weber’s talk to new high school parents, given at new parent orientation. 

Remember we’re partners.

It’s not a customer-vendor relationship—I don’t think that business metaphor accurately describes the unique role you play as parents and unique role we play as teachers. But one thing is clear—if this partnership is going to work well, we have to communicate well between us. So a few things about that:

Veracross—Our online grade program--you can check your child’s current grades at any time.

Read the "Knight Notes", an email sent home usually Tuesday afternoon or Wed morning that summarizes news and upcoming information you need to know. 

Become familiar with our web page, especially the calendar of events, school news, and the faculty/staff directory (book mark us on your smart phone for easy access to everything)

If you need to talk to a teacher, don’t hesitate to contact us—you can do that with either voice mail or email (email preferred).

You can expect to hear from us—not for every little thing that your child does wrong, but for the big things…or if a pattern of little things is beginning to develop.

Remember that raising kids is more of an art form than a science—knowing how soon to intervene when your child stumbles vs. letting him/her work through it themselves is tricky. When in doubt, talk it out.  If you’re not sure who to talk with, talk to your child’s advisor….he or she can find out information for you.

Help your child develop good study habits.

If your freshman child doesn’t seem to be doing somewhere around 90 minutes/homework a night, you should be concerned.

You’ll be meeting your child’s teachers on Thursday night, and they’ll talk about their HW requirements, so you can measure your child’s work output against what they say.

Getting into a HW routine is one of the big adjustments of HS—in some schools, it doesn’t count for much, but it really does here. 

If your child is NOT a reliable studier, I suggest some place other than the bedroom—there are too many distractions.  When our children were younger, we checked homework for quality, but teenagers despise that and I don’t recommend it.  Shift from being quality inspectors to environmental control experts.

Each child learns differently and has their own pace…some are slower, more careful. If your child seems to be doing much, much more than 90 minutes/night—3 hours/more, that’s probably too much, but seek out your child’s advisor and let us look into it.

Involvement is key, both for your child and you!

By school policy freshman must sign up for at least one extra-curricular.

Club “fair” day on Thursday—students will be introduced all possible extra-curriculars

Gently push your children toward participation in clubs and teams—don’t tell them what, but insist on something.  Diversify—if your kid is an athlete, great—but join something else, too. Part of our “renaissance goal” for students here. Child will be happier, friendships, makes life interesting.

Same for you! Booster Club, PTO, team parent—find someway to get involved. You’ll feel more connected, you’ll get to know the families your children are friends with, you’ll be happier.

Look around this room—likely that over 4 years, some of these people will become your best friends!

Be vigilant.

Lot of temptations for teenagers—especially alcohol…but with alcohol comes a whole host of other destructive behaviors. 

Know where your kids are and where they will be.  Ask the question: are there parents home? On occasion, call the other parents to verify--unpredictability on your part is good. (Worried about calling another parent? An enterprising parent I once knew called the parents of the house their child was going to and asked if her child could “bring anything?--cokes, chips, etc. )

Establish the inviolable principle: If I call you on the cell phone, you better answer it (used to say if I called twice and you didn’t answer either time, the cell phone was mine for a week—a killer!). And I recommend calling once just to check in.  Texting doesn’t count.

Establish curfews. Be up when your children get home….

Know that even the best kids can be tempted to do stupid things—yes, even your child. Through my oldest son’s junior year I was feeling pretty good about the job I had done with him –NHS kid, president of student body, QB of the football team—until one night he came home stone cold drunk, having DRIVEN home.  Don’t be the parent that says “my kid would never do such a thing.” Teenagers have a way of humbling us.  

Keep the long view

In four years, you want your child to be a healthy, confident, happy and GOOD young man or woman, a person of faith, ready for college, ready to stand on his or her own feet. That’s a process—and if we’re doing our job, there’s going to be some angst, there’s going to be some disappointment, perhaps even some frustration.

Talk to teachers if you’re worried, but don’t get on that same roller coaster of ups/downs that your teenager is going through. The school and its teachers are your allies. 

Let us speak well of each other and remember that kids are master embellishers. As a friend of mine used to say: “I promise to only believe 50% of what your children say about you is true, if you promise to only believe 50% of what they say about us. “ When in doubt, talk it out. Email us. Call us. We’re here for you.

May God bless us in this magnificent adventure we begin together. 

World’s Colliding

In a typically inane but funny episode of “Seinfeld,” George becomes upset when his girlfriend becomes friends  with Elaine, claiming that his “worlds will collide” between his private life ("Relationship George") and his separate life with Jerry, Elaine and Kramer ("Independent George"), producing a catastrophic effect. Here’s a short clip from that episode:

Seeing this, I couldn’t but help to think about my own life as a Catholic school  teacher and principal, where the “worlds” of my life have collided since the very beginning. It was an August in-service as a 23 year old first year teacher at Montgomery Catholic High where I met Diane Mayhan, a biology and math teacher at the school. She became my wife ten months later, and over one hundred of our students attended the wedding. During the early years, we drove to work together, prepared lessons until late at night, and experienced the joy and frustrations of teaching together.   Fourteen years later,  our oldest son began his freshman year at that same high school where I had now become the principal, the first of all four of my children to do so. I’ve taught three of my children as juniors or seniors in theology classes. My wife now teaches Geometry at the school of which I am headmaster.

  

If George is right, I must be a miserable wretch.

But he’s not. And I'm not! In fact, it’s been one of the great blessings of my life that my family life and school life merge. When I go to athletic events, I don’t go just as headmaster of the school. I go as “Dad” in support of my kids and the school my children attend.  I get to know their friends in a way that few parents do.  Their friends get to know me. We never have to worry about synching vacation schedules.  If I want to know what the kids think about the new school policy, I don’t have to go too far to find out, and if they don’t like what I’ve done, I don’t even have to ask!

I’ve botched it a few times, such as when the football coach benched my son at QB in the middle of the season and I said a few unkind things about him and had to apologize on Monday. From the perspective of my children, I occasionally say “too much personal stuff” to the teachers about them, embarrassing them. (My son’s college entrance essay started “When your father is the principal, every time he walks into the teacher’s lounge could be a teacher-parent conference about you.”) But I’ve had some fun with it, too. I told my teenage daughter she couldn’t date anyone until I checked his transcript and disciplinary file.  She was not amused.  

I am beginning my 24^th year as principal in a few days, and my youngest son will be starting his last year of high school—just one more year of the colliding worlds. Quoting the simple prayer of Dag Hammarskjol, former Secretary General of the United Nations:

“For all that has been—thanks. For all that will be—yes!”